It has been almost 3 months since a WhiteHouse.gov petitioncreated to demand the release of Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi from a Mexican prison reached its 100,000 signature threshold. Unfortunately, the White House has thus far remained mum on the situation. They have in the past, however, found time to respond to childish, insignificant petitions faster than to one that demands the release of a decorated U.S. Marine veteran who was at one time facing abuse and death threats in a Mexican prison.
Below are three ridiculous WhiteHouse.gov petitions that received faster responses from the Obama Administration than Sgt. Tahmooressi’s:
1. Formally acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race - Disclosure
Created: September 22, 2011
White House Reply: November 4, 2011
2. Release the recipe for the Honey Ale home brewed at the White House
Created: August 18, 2012
White House Reply: September 1, 2012
*This was such a pressing topic that the president found time out of his busy schedule to respond to an inquisitive Reddit.com user during a “Ask Me Anything” session on the social media site. When asked when the beer recipe will be released, Obama replied, “It will be out soon! I can tell from firsthand experience, it is tasty.” The response was one of only 10 answers the president gave during the forum session.
3. Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016
Created: November 14, 2012
Reached required number of signatures: December 14, 2012
White House Reply: January 12, 2013
*For readers unfamiliar with Star Wars, the “Death Star” is a fictional space station with the ability to destroy an “entire planet.”
There you have it, folks. Your tax dollars are hard at work crafting responses to petty White House petitions, while an urgent plea to help a former U.S. Marine has so far been ignored.
To learn more about Sgt. Tahmooressi, click here.